Sadie Hawkins Day

Sadie Hawkins Day was a fictitious day made up in 1937 from a character in the Al Capp’s Li’l Abner comic strip.  Sadie Hawkins was a 35-year-old single woman with no prospects of a husband so all the single men in town were summoned to a foot race for her affection.  This spawned a real life movement of dances, women’s liberation celebrations and general dating role reversal.

The more I thought about Sadie Hawkins, I pondered the question, “Why are some women so afraid to ask men out in 2016?” Now I’m not saying that women should be chasing down every man that they see in desperation for a date but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there if you are interested in a man.  I believe wholeheartedly in the mantra that “closed mouths don’t get fed”.  If women keep sitting around waiting for men to come and ask them out all of the time, they may very well be single forever.  Women outnumber men in the world so quite naturally men have more of a selection in the dating pool and there are some women positioning themselves to be the chosen ones.

I know, I know, the scripture says in Proverbs 18:22, “HE who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”  I’m not saying that you ask him to MARRY you, but there is no harm in letting him know that you are AVAILABLE to get to know him.  Believe it or not ladies, men want to be pursued just as much as you do. You don’t even have to ask him out on a date, you could simply initiate a conversation that leads to the exchanging of numbers. Once you get the number, you don’t have to sit around and wait for him to call YOU first because you’re trying to play some sort of cat and mouse game or you’ve been reading and practicing “The Rules”.  We’re all grown here and you can make the first move and call him and it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you asked him to lunch (the safe bet) after you’ve determined that he is even worth future phone conversations or a face-to-face meeting.  I know you’re probably thinking that if you ask HIM out, you’ll have to pay and that could cause you to get stuck in a never-ending cycle of paying for dates but that’s not always to case, hence the reason I said LUNCH in case he assumes you’ll pick up the check.  Lunch is usually inexpensive and non-threatening but keep your eye on him in case he’s cheap.

When I met my husband 15 years ago, I noticed him in a crowded room at a fraternity party and very quickly realized that he was somebody I HAD to meet.  I had two options: 1) Wait for him to approach me and ask for my number or 2) Approach him and strike up a conversation which would result in us exchanging numbers.  Had I gone with option 1, I think I could have been upstaged by some other party goer and missed my chance meeting.  Some things just can not be left up to fate LOL.  I happen to know that when women meet an interesting guy at a party or gathering, they tend to soak up all of his energy to keep him from being drawn to other women.  As it was, I went with option 2 and approached him, struck up a meaningless conversation to drop the subtle hint that I was interested enough for him to ask for my number.  He NEVER did but I could tell that he was interested and a few hours later, he made his move to get my number after he’d noticed that I was turning down all of the other guys who were approaching me that night.  See, the thing is, men who are used to getting attention from women are actually slightly insecure because they aren’t used to rejection.  They look for signs from us to give them the green light to approach us to avoid a possible rejection.

So ladies, the next time you are out at the grocery store, a party, the mall or just walking down the street and you see a guy that you just HAVE to meet (without a ring on of course), don’t catch a glimpse of him and turn away, channel your inner Sadie Hawkins.  Make sure you make DIRECT eye contact with him to be certain that he saw you and so that you can get a look at his reaction to your boldness to look him straight in the eye.  That is a subtle hint for him to walk directly up to you and strike up a conversation but if he doesn’t then walk up to him and say, “Don’t I know you from somewhere.” I GUARANTEE he’ll stand there and talk to you for 20 minutes combing through elementary schools you may have attended togethers to what gym you work out in and you’ll get that number, perhaps even a date and ULTIMATELY a husband. I’m declaring EVERYDAY Sadie Hawkins Day for women around the world! Take it from me and take a chance on your future!


Tell a Friend!


  1. Sweet 16
    June 5, 2011

    Well done! I’ve known you forever and you have always declared your right to “holla first.” lol I’ll be sure to channel my inner Sadie Hawkins 🙂

  2. Nikki
    June 5, 2011

    I agree! It is not even about asking him out, just let him know you are available and see where it goes from tthere. My current relationship is with a man that I knew through social settings…but I was not really on his radar until I started a convo with him about my car ‘ making a funny clinking sound’…there was no sound but it opened the door and we have been going strong for 2yrs. Like you said, women outnumber men so you have to get on his radar. If you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results…try something new and you will get different results.

  3. OJ Spivey
    June 6, 2011

    Great post!!! I keep telling my lady friends to push envelope sometimes. You’re right. Men love having conversations with women…for whatever reason. Don’t just stare. Give the brother a sign.

  4. Phillysugamamma
    June 6, 2011

    Great Post!! Looking forward to reading more and getting in the inside scoop on relationships!!!!

    FYI I personally am not a fan of approaching men, but I am not afraid to do so!!!! #thatisall

  5. Keturah Warrick
    June 6, 2011

    I love this post! It gave me great insight from a different perspective, as I never agreed with the idea of women approaching men. Look forward to reading more, great read!

  6. Nubyone
    June 11, 2011

    Good insight! Looking forward to reading more of your blogs.

Leave a Reply